Welcoming 2017

Yearender Bebe*

---o0o---

Well, relationships are always made of ups and downs. Although we had more ups than the downs, I wanted to let everyone know that no matter how low we go, I am sticking by my man's side.

Why? For so many reasons. We can discuss everything that comes to mind right now - but it all speaks of one thing - I HAVE NEVER BEEN LOVED THIS MUCH. I don't know why, but he does. :)

I mean, come on, y'all know I was not looking during the time he has found me. I never knew how it was to maintain a relationship per se - but he built it up from the ground and fought hard to have me, to keep me. I don't know why, but he did. :)

He believed in me, understood my quirks, my 'rocking moodswings' (an understatement, btw).. everything. He has seen it all, and he stayed anyway. I don't know why, but he did. :)

He always rooted for me, believed my passion and how I wanted to live life - and he loved how soft of a person I am (well, that's what he said). But knowing there are A LOT of other chicks waaaay nicer (and, uhm, hotter than me hahaha) - he still chooses me, all day, every day.  I don't know why, but he still do. :)

The past three years of my life had never been this great. 

---o0o---

"I never knew how it felt being really loved, until I felt it from you."

We are now nearing our fourth year (yay! can you imagine??!) - and I still feel the same as the first time I saw him in that day.

Now, my yearender message to you is this: We will start 2017 with a not so great news, but like what I always say - I'm sticking around and this thing is just a wind, it will just passes us by. We will get through this (like always), we will get back and we will be happier than before.

Cheers to 2016 - and may our 2017 be better! 
I love you.  Always have, always will be.

THIS IS WHY I NEED A PLANNER

I had been using them for ages, all compiled in one box. Everything I attended or went to - I write it.
I had to. I tend to forget.

For the past two years I haven't had a journal to read by the end of the year for my "recap".

Now I cannot write here how my year was.. Saaaaad :-(

Aaaanyways, let's hope for a better year next year! <3

Single VS. Married life: don’t me

“Yes, we are single; and yes, we splurge based on our life’s choices – out of town trips, clothing, etc.; but hey, we spend on YOUR life’s choices, too (wedding, baby shower, christening, etc.) and yet we do not mock you with it. So do not judge us that we do and buy what we want just because we do not have a kid to spend our money with; and look at us like we live a shallow life. We chose to live this life, like you chose to live yours. We may not have the same ideals because of this, but being single is never less than being married and having kids.”  #dropsmic

With that being said, here is a photo of me celebrating the single life. With my cats. ^_^

me

forever escape

Sorrow, happiness; happiness, sorrow.
OK - and I am still dancing to IAMX even after all these years.

World Humanitarian Day

My #ShareHumanity thoughts would be the one coming from one of my all-time fave movie, Earthlings:

"Since we all inhabit the earth, we are all considered earthlings. There is no sexism, racism, or speciesism in the term 'earthling'. It encompasses each and every one of us: warm- or cold-blooded, mammal, vertebrate or invertebrate, bird, reptile, amphibian, fish and human alike."

When we are able to coexist and respect all living things around us, only then we become 'humane'.

catvocacy

..aaaaand we found a tiny kitten.

We were on our way to work when we saw her, walking carelessly on the gutter of a busy street.
I could not look away so I took her and went back walking to our house. We took half day off to check up on her. Evening came and we realized she is too tiny to be left the whole day for the next day. So I brought her to work. And have been bringing her since then.

This was the smallest rescue I have ever had. My first time bottle feeding, force peeing, warming her up every now and then, among other things.

I am now a full pledge meowmy =D

---o0o---

But due to the fact that we already have 3 grown cats with us, we will not be able to keep her.
So here I am, posting everyday Perry pictures of her on my social media, hoping to get her adopted.
At the back of my mind, I do not want to; I want to keep her - but my cats will only train her to be an ingrate like them.

She is the sweetest kitten I have ever had, and I wish she grows up fast and strong.

meet Perry. Kitty Perry :)

sparkle

sorry if I had posted this already. I just find it so fucking fabulous I wish I had written it :)

The fighting is NOT over

I.
Of course, I have always known what I will be getting myself into. I know the effects of this choice I made, and I continue to experience the effect on it. 
It's good and bad, it's driving me crazy, but hey, I chose this way of living.  


II.
The sleepless nights, the disturbed mind and ego will always, always be there, unfortunately.  

III  
Inside my head is another version of what I really say; or what I do not say.Inside is chaos that never dies. But I will always choose to stay positive on the outside.
 
Nothing can remove the anxiety.

IV. 
Nothing can calm my roaring head. Specially when the triggers are kept being tickled.But these are the things I had get to live with in order to keep my balance. In order to stay this way.  I need this chaos to keep me sane. 


V.
I will be just fine.

thank you random photo from facebook - for stating exactly what's on my mind :D

Is your professional life far from your personal life? WHY??!

There are instances where people have to choose whether to live by their principles or by their career. But why do that when you can align your behavior to what is asked by your profession?

When you work in an INGO, it's a no-brainer that you are committed to "walk the talk".  Not that it's hard, but it's somehow different in your other side - which is the personal life. But it is very doable. And it's not something forced on you, specially when you love your job.

Say, you work in a high-ranking position in a private company - that also translates to you acting or being the professional one in and out of your office, and even in your social media. Respect begets respect. It's that simple, right? But yet so complicated to some. 

If you wanted to keep your aura of being the cool or the feisty one whilst working as a big time boss, chances are you might not be getting the respect you should be having from colleagues.

On a micro level, we can just look at it as being a parent - to set example, you have to embody the person that you want for your kid. Or if you want your kids to respect you, you just don't do shit, right?

Simple as that.

And yet, it does not work with a lot.
Why? Because people like having a different life away from their personal life. 
Why? Because most probably - they just work for money, not for the passion of it.

---o0o---

I am not asking everyone to set an example, or control your real self just to please others.

But, I was just really wondering.. is it that hard to be nice, and stay nice?  Is it that hard to live your live that aligns to what your career requires you to be? 

Maybe it's cool that way for some, I just find it disturbing because I feel like they are living a double life :-P

---o0o---

Bottomline is, look for a job that satisfies -from your skin til your soul.


---o0o---
famous last words:

"Live your life responsibly." (-PVD)

what else is there to be? ;)

Ladies [at one point in their lives] fall for the 'bad boy'

Is this like, more than five years ago? How time flies..

Ardel (the author of this blogpost) and I used to have late night conversations on how to 'get' this guy. In the end, I did nothing and just.. let him pass me by.

During this time, I was this strong-willed woman trying to keep to myself the  feelings I had for this guy in the office. Only close friends knew about it. He was not a good influence on my liver,  he was known to being the bad boy in the office, but he was a good man. Always there when I needed him.  He was the only guy whom I connected with in so many levels, and appreciates my writing and wished I had time to be a songwriter. Hahaha..
Such good memories. =)

either get pissed or get entertained =D

Who is this guy at the right and why is he in ASAP, let alone in Philipppine live TV?!

Bullet Dumas is one of the very few artists who can sing, play great guitar and compose songs. He was invited to guest in an afternoon Sunday variety show to play, but his time to shine was shared on lens by these kids, only to show their "appreciation" to his music. 

Do you have a few minutes to be pissed at this kid? Then see the video here.

move

"If you fear you're 'too much' because you're passionate, energetic, generous, and gregarious, then start figuring out why you're in a place where the world has 'too little' for you."

love {X}

Can I love a man that also wanted to be a woman? This question appeared in my mind when a famous model-host's husband came out as a transgender.  Apparently yes - for I was crazy addicted to a man who fancies both sexes. I did not mind - probably because I have loved him because of his music. He is still my escape, although I do not have his music in my library anymore (streaming rocks my socks). Everyone needs an escape, and happy to have found mine <3 <3 

Conquering the "Hele Challenge"**

Finally!

One ticked off the bucket list.
I was not bored when I tried to watch his other film (Melancholia). This time, I was sleepy because I was not able to sleep long enough (what is long enough when it comes to sleep, anyway?)

Everyone has their piece of opinion and critique to the film. It had so many facets, yes - but what I liked about others' take on the film is that they mainly mention the things that mattered most with them. Like, if you are a sensitive person you would primarily answer "the film is sad". If you are a political person you would see it as a relevant movie.
And so on.  

This is entertaining. This is Lav Diaz.


---o0o---
***"The Hele Challenge" was a marketing strategy for Filipinos to watch the 8-hour full length film. Which worked well. =)

a few minutes of freedom

I finally get to have time to write.
Sunday mornings are mine for now.

I normally just write anything lousy until something nice for a topic comes out of me.
Then the fun starts.

Too bad they are all very raw for now and not meant to be published.
Maybe for the upcoming Sundays, I will have more time to sanitize them to be able to be published and enjoyed by readers (friends and haters alike).

But for now - I just want to say hey - I am back and I have time for myself, FINALLY!

#freedomissweet

why hiding girl - you really must have done something to me

Have you ever been blocked?
Horrible, isn't it?
You are now not able to see someone's posts.

But... they might not know I was not a Research Analyst for nothing ;)

Enjoy hiding.

---o0o---
famous last words:

paradise a few hours away form the city

never in a million miles, years or men

Been having the same troubles with my partner for a long time now. The last time he did it again (no, he was not cheating) - I was so fuming mad, but I slept it all off.

But then again, my subconscious was so worked up I dreamt a very bad dream - that I was cheating (no sex involved, but just me seeing another guy who is also taken). I felt sick waking up. 

I went up and saw my boyfriend on the side of the beach. I just sat beside him and stayed quiet.
I so wanted to tell him, but it was just a dream.

(What worries me then, you now ask.)
What worries me is that I had thought of it (even just in a dream).
Meaning.. I think I can do it, if I ever wanted it.

But to reassure anyone, it is not in my wildest dream to make that kind of mistake.
It might also mean that I only have thought of that as a resort to our recurring problem. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't. But I don't want to ever try or know.

I just had to share.

-xxp

I LOVE YOU COFFEE.

BAAAAAM.

I'm back to writing / the effects of overthinking

My, oh my! It's been ages!

And the only reason I ever came back here is to take my mind off of something, like what I previously do before.

Update: same old me, realizing that I'm already halfway on my lifetime. Amazing how time flies.

Is it still worth turning 180 degrees? I'm not too sure. I know I will still be happy staying how I was five years ago, though. As to that question where I will be happier - I know I will be at both ends, so no answer to that one.  This other end is surprisingly great, though :D

Update: the effects of being a research analyst does wonders! You have no idea how deep I can dig, and how far my forecast can go ;)

Side effects: can make you go insane. I like what it does, but I don't like that someone sees when something's up. I just give my forever safe answer "it's nothing". Same old me, keeping secrets from everybody.

Update: The monsters are still around? DEFINITELY.


---o0o---
Famous last words: