did i tell you fireworks make me happy?

YAY. <3

must be the lake.

oh dear.  this is one of those perfect moments where you want to just sit, breathe deep, and stare at the entire place - marvel at it's beauty, smile and hold the hand of the one you love (only i don't have one of those).

-

that's what i was thinking when we got there (Lake Pandin).  it felt like a perfect date place: you can swim, have a picnic in the middle of the lake, enjoy the serenity and the privacy of the secluded area.. enjoy a great conversation..

-

(sigh.)

what has gotten into me?

i miss the feeling of being happy in love.

i'm blaming the lake.

-

the memories of love is still there, but the love itself is not.  i guess it has lost its way.  time and circumstances drew me away from the love and the man.  don't get me wrong, charles is still in my system, but he is not in my routine anymore.

-

i am starting to wake up from my outplayed dream.

---o0o---

famous last words:

"Nobody can dictate you if what you're feeling is love or not.  If it's real or not.  It has always been your choice.  You see, you are not just anybody -- you don't just feel love, you have turned it into a lifestyle.  I guess to you love is both a collective thought and a decision (a decision to hold on to it for as long as you could).  Having said that, I want to tell you this:  what you have learned and got accustomed to can be reversed; unlearned.  ONLY IF YOU DECIDE TO."  (pvd to pvd)

i have been wanting to do this ---

try to take a photo of myself in a bathroom, like any camwhores do. arrr

*hilarious. i just made a fool of myself

pvd loving the contrast

topic given by micoy

guys who are so hot but i will never spend the summer with




1.  Enchong Dee - he is one of those boys on TV that i can’t stop staring at. he does look line keanu.  but he is recently rumored to be gay.


2.  Matteo Guidicelli - the reason why i don’t want to spend the summer with him is because he likes to sing as well, we might argue over the videoke machine.


3.  Ryan Agoncillo - need i say more? f—ing married.  i must know how judai does it.


4.  Kiko Rustia - i may never get to spend time with him because he keeps on wandering around looking for adventures! am i not an adventure enough? rawr.  



5.  Jamir Garcia - of course he’s on this list! do not argue how the hell he became hot. i can’t spend the summer with him cos other groupies might kill me.  groupies share.  =)


6.  Marc Abaya - i don’t want to spend just the summer with him — i wanna spend every season of the year with him! hahaha.  in fact, i won’t let him leave the room.  he’s mine, all mine! 

saving the world, one bruised soul at a time

healers are those persons who could help people make the “healing/moving on” easier.  we are here to merely observe, to guide and not judge people who go on wasting their lives over a lost love.  we respect their decisions, their sudden change of lifestyle and their emo moments.

we understand (I mean REALLY understand) what bh people are going through - and we have the gift of saying the right words to uplift their spirits.

we are here to help.  so use us, we don’t mind.

making people happy is our grandest achievement.

–

famous last words:

“Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24)

reader's participation

as usual i had no time getting all creative and write about one long paragraph.  my notes are accumulating again so i might as well post them.  as it is.  the thing is, i have asked friends to give me titles to my different notes (doesn’t have to match with the story though).
—o0o—




“mendeleevium”


you know what’s great about singlehood? your rocking/rollercoaster/everchanging schedule.  i love it and i hate it.  i have always loved order, but this is too much fun.  my routine’s always shaken.  and it compliments my lifestyle, hooray to freespirits! hmn, i wonder if i could ever let this go.
–




“indigo”


and so, you’re looking for a good shirt.  a good shirt that compliments almost all of your other outfit.  and that it has to be in great fit and in a particular color.  after weeks of looking for it you finally found one, but you suddenly wondered, maybe there’s a better shirt in a different store.  you decided not to buy it.  months have passed by and you’re still looking for that better shirt.  and as with the first shirt you found - it ran out of stock.
kids, please bear this in mind: it’s okay to be choosy, you deserve someone who fits you perfectly.  there may be a lot of fishes in the ocean, but you are not the only one searching.  do not think the options are unlimited.  if you see what you’re looking for, you just go get it.  try it out or else, it’ll pass you by.
–




“sunburn”


Ally McBeal reruns cause chestpain.  see below.
“Ally, you are someone who desperately wants love but doesn’t believe in it.”
–




“shock absorber”


it’s sad that when everyone thinks of you as a fortress, you cannot show yourself weak around them.  it’s like they’re getting their strength from you and if they see you give up they’d get more disappointed more than you would.  it’s like taking away their hope for the second time.
so this is a lesson learned: when I want to go all vulnerable, i go crazy on my BFF, whom I trust, someone I’m comfortable enough to share all my frustrations.  she listens more, and that’s the great part about it.
‘pader lang ako, kailangan ko pa rin ng poste na masasandigan ko.’




—o0o—


famous last words:
“sometimes i get to think that writing is not talent - it is a raving disease - curable only when i literally write it down.”

happy entry of the week (2)

..it didn't change my life, though. maybe it did to you =D

politically correct.

now, THAT'S the right definition

conscious effort number three.

PNI is the reason why i try my hardest to come up with happy/positive blog entries.

--

(source: Philippine daily Inquirer)

"The term 'psychoneuroimmunology' is about linking our mind to our state of health."

--

our mental state influences healing.  what we think can affect our immune system.  if we think we are depressed, our body will react to it and will feel 'depressed' as well.

so, GOOD VIBES = GOOD HEALTH.

--

if i set my mind to being happy and positive, my body would react to it, and will feel happy and positive as well.  then back it up with a calm and steady soul - and baby, you got yourself that 'wellness' you have been wanting to achieve.  wagi.  and then, you'll never get easily stressed with anything that surrounds you - for your core is already fixed and perfectly balanced. yay to being happy =)

learn. love. live.

---o0o---

famous last words:

"This is the sound of my soul, are you listening, though?"

this vicious cycle

ladies beware: this is what happens when you have all the time in the world to reminisce and [mis]interpret every guy's moves.

--

when a guy is constantly sweet to you, it does not equate to him being interested.  sometimes, it's just him being naturally sweet to everyone. 

DO NOT ASSUME.

*sometimes,it's also not good to immediately dismiss his 'spacial treatment' to you, but until the guy didn't say to you, flat out, that he likes you, try to not assume.

assuming leads to hoping.  and hoping leads to falling.  vicious, vicious.

--

this is the cycle: a girl would break down her walls, let the guy enter her world, make herself vulnerable, give him all she's got - only to find out that the guy's just being friendly.  the girl will get hurt, start to build her wall again until she's gonna tear it down all over again for the next guy who will give her a misleading kind of affection/attention.

it happens all the time.  i so wanted to say that it's the guy's fault but it's not.  ladies tend to overthink about the sweetest things that men do to them.  remember: it's never safe to assume.  it has always been basic when it comes to men: if they like you, they'd tell you.  it's that simple to them.  and they're going to back it up with sincere gestures.

--

but hey, what do i know about it?  =P

for enrai =)

Don't be afraid to let it show - your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow.."  (-Cyndi Lauper)

---

you show us your colored sides/personality like these seven-shade wonder of nature:

Red.  for me, this symbolizes your lovelife.  need i say more??

Orange.  - symbolizes the fruit.  this is your 'high-end' side.  this means, you are an orange, not a ponkan. a creme brulee, not a jello.  you are a rich kid, but you don't act one.  your parents brought you up well.  pautang. =D

Yellow.  for me, this symbolizes your sunshine-y side.  you are always happy doing the things you do.  always steady.  i like your never ending energy. =)

Green.  this symbolizes the nature which seemed to be your current passion (trekking/hiking).  your side where you like to do something good for yourself and mother nature. 

Blue.  i'm sorry if i'd have to mention this haha.  blue to me symbolizes your 'bluer-than-blue' / emo side.  you have it, admit it.  your writings/entries screams it. haha =P

Indigo.  being the unusual color in this bunch, indigo symbolizes your unique side (naks).  you keep on trying out new things to explore and find out your greatest passion.  what you must know is this: you seem to excel in every field that you try.  ikaw na, marc. ikaw na.  here's your mighty mighty crown.

Violet.  since this is the last shade, this symbolizes your 'everything else'; your other side/s that i haven't mentioned - or haven't discovered yet.

---

you are a rainbow.  you are a spectrum and each color blends well with the other.

---

i'd like to share this line from "Secret Garden".  i know you'd relate to it as well.

"Some things feel like fantasy because they're distant.  that is the way of stars.  just as it is with people who are too beautiful, they disappear easily.  I have realized that now.  What an amazing person he is.  And that is why he is so distant from me.  He will disappear one day as well.  As the way people do when they're too beautiful."  (-Gil La Im)

---

btw - thank you for this: very pretty.

here's to the positive outlook in (love)life!

happy motherf****ng valentine's everyone! =)

happyhippieyay

there is a tiny scene here in manila where i get to be comfortable in my own skin, choice of lifestyle and preference.  i hope this clip will give you a clear idea that this is the real category i fall under. i am not a rakista. not a poser. not a thug. definitely not emo. here it goes.

---o0o---

source:urbandictionary.com

The term "hipster" is cross-applied from the 1930s Beatniks. The modern hipster is a composite of individuals with a certain bohemian life situation and lifestyle. He or she rejects "mainstream" culture and embraces and contributes to independent culture, and prides him/herself on this.

Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter.  Although "hipsterism" is really a state of mind,it is also often intertwined with distinct fashion sensibilities. Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses.  The "effortless cool" urban bohemian look of a hipster is exemplified in Urban Outfitters and American Apparel ads which cater towards the hipster demographic. Despite misconceptions based on their aesthetic tastes, hipsters tend to be well educated and often have liberal arts degrees, or degrees in maths and sciences, which also require certain creative analytical thinking abilities.

Consequently many hipsters tend to have jobs in the music, art, and fashion industries. It is a myth that most hipsters are unemployed and live off of their parent's trust funds. Hipsters shun mainstream societal conventions that apply to dating preferences and traditional "rules" of physical attraction. It is part of the hipster central dogma not to be influenced by mainstream advertising and media, which tends to only promote ethnocentric ideals of beauty.  Hipsters are also very racially open-minded, and the greatest number of interracial couples in any urban environment are typically found within the hipster subculture.

hello thon =)

welcome, new reader! when i saw this photo it reminded me of you.. hehe =)

enjoy reading the rest of the blog =)

.....so emo. =P

para kay ardel (mula sa puwersa ng kadiliman)

being the bitch that i am, i will piss you off first by showing you your favorite animal in the world:

---

i hate the fact that you keep on nagging me to take care of my health and my finances.

i hate that you're too concerned for my lovelife - that you tell things as its is; no sugarcoating, no BS.  you give it to me straight - pointblank event if it's hurting me more.  i hate how you tell me the truth. and i hate that you know that i need to hear the truth.

i hate how you laugh so hard after putting up with all my crap.  it feels like you're too amused to have a friend who is so fucked up.  but you stick around, anyway.

i hate the fact that you cook better instant pancit canton than me.

i hate how you love and prioritize your career - and being the professional that you are - you don't sleep late nowadays - making me miss our late night talks.

i hate the fact that i can never win in most of our discussions (it's because i don't like explaining, and i respect your opinion. even if i hate you. heh.)

lastly - i hate the fact that in everything i've said above - you have every right to do so.  i hate how you managed to get in my nerve and turn out to be my fortress.  i hate how you've made yourself indispensable to me.

so this is my way of giving back to you, as a dark force that you think i am; this is for constantly reminding me that i need to get my shit together.

--

I HATE YOU.  you're too kind.  you're too giving.  you're annoyingly concerned to me and cielo.  i hate that i can't repay you even just half of what you give yourself to me.

this is all your fault.

you're making it hard for me to leave the condo.

happy entry of the week

too many chesters

paint the town...

two 'paint' artworks.

two 'artists' (naks).

one topic (my sore lovelife hahaha).

one girl. two drawings - same haircut. =)

two different guys.  

feel free to interpret.  

"ang ice cream, ang ice cream" by paolo angelo manarang

"walls apart" by ardel bravante

My Soundtrack to Falling in Love (Volume 1)

**listen to every links, then think of me. weeeeeeeee happy valentine's to me

1.  All I Want is You - U2

2. Annie's Song - John Denver

3.  Love - John Lennon

4.  Everything - Alanis Morissette

5.  I See You - Mika

6.  Wonderful - Stone Temple Pilots

7.  Somebody for Someone - The Corrs

8.  Comfort in Your Strangeness - Cynthia Alexander

9.  Fade Into You - Mazzy Star

10. Underneath it All - No Doubt

11. Cuida - Sugarfree

12. Dahilan - Barbie Almalbis

forget valentine's! ---

--- summer is here! i just wanna be on the beach.

the mind speaks more than the lips

(rrriiiiinngg..  rrriiiiinngg...)

"hello? oh, steve! how have you been?"

thought bubble: (i miss you so much you have no idea.)

"it's been ages..yeah. oh, yeah?  good, good.  i'm fine, hahaha.."

(i'm fine NOW that we're talking.  geez! there's so much that i want to say to you but i couldn't.  i just couldn't.)

"yeah, i have this thing at work.  i know. work sucks."

(but hearig your voice makes me already happy, though.  if i tell you this - will things  between us get better?  will it turn out the way i want it to be?)

"by the way, are you going to kenneth's this weekend?  you got the invite, right?"

(i hope you'd go as well.  i want to see you again.  and again.  god, this is insane! i need courage! i want to smother this man with all the love i have known but i am just a chickenshit!  can't do it! ugh.)

"you're not sure yet?  well, tell me if you're going, alright?  yeah.  see you around.  bye!"

<telephone on the other line hangs up>

(see you around, sweetie.  btw, i'm crazy about you.  i thought you should know.  will you marry me? but, first - will you even know??)

---o0o---

famous last words:

"Your niceness is boring me to death - at the same time making me overly smitten.  and it's driving me nuts that I can't get it through to you."

directed by gus van sant. soulmates in paris.

click on the photo to enlarge

i may not really know love at all.

is it that weird

that I have only loved one man

in the 20++ years of my life?

(but I wouldn’t be weird centuries ago.)

what i've learned (time to share)

accordingto Ms. Princess Punzalan,this is one of the things her mom had taught her.

when finding a lifetime partner, you can observe/check out these 3 things that could help you see the person in cleare view:

1) how he eats.  is he fast?  does he take your food?  is he considerate in waiting on you to finish eating? is he careless/messy?  what he does on the table reflects his personality.

2) how he plays in a game.  like number 1, this reflects to what he is in life.  if he can cheat his way in a game, he can probably cheat in life.  or, if he is focused, he is in everything else.

3) his bank account.  (if you have access to his financials) you can see where he invests most of his money.  and if he is more of a spender than a saver.  you can tell by his passbook his priorities - where he spends most of his money.

-

famous last words:

"it's weird when people around tell me i look like i'm in love, when in fact -  it's the other way around." (pvd)

madaling intindihin, mahirap tanggapin

please forgive me if i tend to generalize men as selfish pricks go shamelessly break girls' hearts whenever they can.  it comes with the bitterness.  there is always an exception, though.  and all i need is just one guy to prove me wrong.


-
for every sadness, there is always a lesson or two learned form that certain experience. in my case, i have learned that i have to be patient to wait until the bitterness dies down naturally.  once i am done with it, i know that the universe is going to fill me up my soul with all the love i deserve.


-
(hope? is that you? are you coming in back to my life? splendid!)


-
it's hard when someone took away your spark.it is going to take a while before i could have it back.  until then --i'm just waiting for the day when i can hop and skip again.




-


famous last words:


"it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me -- and i'm feeling good.."(-Muse)