my immortal

*first written on 01.07.2012 / 6am

This is my second time to dream that I was dead.

The first one was a short one: I was a ghost, staying in Baguio, haunting down a guy from the past.

This time it was longer: it started out as me being already dead.  (apparently a ghost who can talk to my best friend and relatives. Hahaha what a cheater)

Family members were already discussing on how to tell everyone about my sudden death.  My best friend was there and she asked my first love and the current one to go to a certain place where they all gathered so she could say it personally.  My best friend and I talked about feelings not being expressed; feelings that because of pride and circumstances were decided to be repressed.

The place wasn’t my wake, I didn’t get to see myself in a coffin, all I know is they were talking about the life I had. If I ever really had one =)

I saw how my best friend break the news to my first love.  Obviously I was just staring at him.  Looking at the past and seeing how concerned he was made me feel at ease; it felt like at least, just for once; he sincerely cared.

And then my sister was the one who told my current love (in the dream I was in love with someone new) about my passing.  She said it beautifully and the guy broke down.  Just right after I did.

After that I was just roaming around places.  I had no regrets.  I was having fun. 

But you see, death is nothing really like that. 

Death – there’s nothing to it.  Don’t get so curious about it.

And by the way, yeah, the dreams are telling me that the end is really near ;) 

So I’ll say it again like I always do – I love everyone,  although not in the same way; some more than the other one. ;)

Go on and live. laugh. love. because really, what does pain and anger do to people? <3

---o0o---

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