3.18.2015

the tree, the leaf and the wind

*reposting this for my friend who reminded me of this story.




A story of love in three perspectives...you could be the tree, the leaf or the wind. A good read...


---o0o---

TREE
People call me "Tree".


I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There's one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, or good figure, nor an outstanding charm. She was just an ordinary girl.

I liked her. I really liked her.

I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was because I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together, all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her. I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately and I didn't have to give up everything just for her.

The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years.
She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She was a good actress and me a demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled and said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I didn't want to know what caused her to cry.
Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something and watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character, she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her and ignored her feelings then walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing and joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she didn't know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my breakup.
Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the guy was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the school.

I didn't show her my heartache, just smiles and best wishes. Once I reached home, I couldn't breathe. Tears rolled and I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who didn't acknowledge her presence?

During graduation, I received a text message from her. It said, "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because the Tree didn't ask her to stay ..."


---o0o---
LEAF
People call me "Leaf".

During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learned a feeling I never should've learned - jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness.
But after a month, he got together with another girl.

I liked him and I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? If he really loves me, why didn't he make the first move?

Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out.

You can't expect from a girl like me to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me too. And because of this, I waited for him.

Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years. At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me.


He's like the cool and gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land.

Finally leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled and didn't ask the leaf to stay.

"Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because the Tree didn't ask her to stay..."


---o0o---

WIND
People call me "Wind".


Because I like a girl called "Leaf". Because she's so dependent on the tree so I have to be a gust wind, a wind that will blow her away.

When I first met her, it was 1 month after I transfer to the new school.
I saw a petite person looking at my seniors and me playing soccer.
During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes.

Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left.

The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled at her, took out a note and gave it to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled, and accepts the note.

The day after, she appeared and passes me a note and left. "Leaf's heart is too heavy and the wind couldn't blow her away".

"It's not that leaf's heart is too heavy. It's simply because leaf never wants to leave the tree". I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me and accept my presents and phone calls.
I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day, I will make her like me.

Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times.
Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I'm really decided for her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over.

I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will always try to change the topic, I still bear a small ray of hope deep within me, that she will agree to be my girlfriend. And so I asked her again.

I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?"

"I'm nodding my head", she said.
"Huh?" I couldn't believe my ears.
"I'm nodding my head", she replied loudly.
I hang up the phone, quickly changed, took a taxi and rushed to her place. My hands were trembling when I press the doorbell.
I hugged her tightly as she opened the door.

"Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because the Tree didn't ask her to stay..."

3.17.2015

oneliner number 1





"Ang hirap ng walang pinanghahawakan."


my immortal




*first written on 01.07.2012 / 6am



This is my second time to dream that I was dead.


The first one was a short one: I was a ghost, staying in Baguio, haunting down a guy from the past.


This time it was longer: it started out as me being already dead.  (apparently a ghost who can talk to my best friend and relatives. Hahaha what a cheater)

Family members were already discussing on how to tell everyone about my sudden death.  My best friend was there and she asked my first love and the current one to go to a certain place where they all gathered so she could say it personally.  My best friend and I talked about feelings not being expressed; feelings that because of pride and circumstances were decided to be repressed.

The place wasn’t my wake, I didn’t get to see myself in a coffin, all I know is they were talking about the life I had. If I ever really had one =)

I saw how my best friend break the news to my first love.  Obviously I was just staring at him.  Looking at the past and seeing how concerned he was made me feel at ease; it felt like at least, just for once; he sincerely cared.

And then my sister was the one who told my current love (in the dream I was in love with someone new) about my passing.  She said it beautifully and the guy broke down.  Just right after I did.

After that I was just roaming around places.  I had no regrets.  I was having fun. 

But you see, death is nothing really like that. 

Death – there’s nothing to it.  Don’t get so curious about it.

And by the way, yeah, the dreams are telling me that the end is really near ;) 

So I’ll say it again like I always do – I love everyone,  although not in the same way; some more than the other one. ;)

Go on and live. laugh. love. because really, what does pain and anger do to people? <3




---o0o---

famous last words:












3.10.2015


sweetest gift

not posting this for religious reasons - but this one is just so sweet to not share.  Ms. Rio Locsin, the mother of the man Lougee is going to marry, passed away years ago.  Comments on this post from the guy's family members are all saying Ms. Rio would have loved Lougee. Ms. Rio Cojuangco was one of my favorite renaissance woman.  I also wish I'd met her. She is one great soul. Congratulations, Lougee and Ali. =)