All Together in Dignity volunteers

year end report

All throughout the year I was busy being the doctor love to my male friends.

The last quarter of the year I wasn't able to post here for a long time for this one reason: this blog had a theme and these past months I wasn't able to really write something here with all conviction.  In short, I wasn't that happy enough to be able to write about it.

The first quarter of the year was awesome.  I had good audits in my work, I stepped out, did well.  The second and third quarter was not as great as the first.  I  had failing audits and stressed burned me out so much.  I also got to meet a lot of new friends (???) because of the NGOs I have joined.  That made me happy.

That was the shortest I could come up with what has happened with my 2012.  It was all work and NGO.  I got sidetracked a bit but I hope I could get to talk more about it this coming year.  But for now, I will keep all this newly acquired happiness to myself until I can go on and tell about it publicly.  Ah, yes, I can feel my heart burning again.

I wish everyone lots of peace and love and happiness this 2013. Dear readers, you are the reason that made me write and entertain. love you all <3

"Love reveals itself when you release your need to have the object of your affection, and see that there’s no reason to make it yours. That it exists at all is enough. To love something is to disappear in its favor — to die to your own interests so that it can be what it is." - David Cain

will sing for beer - part 2

PVD - Rolling in the Deep (Petra and Pilar)

*click the link above.  forgive me, people, for I just want to sing ;)

will sing for beer - part 1

lol pic of the week

insekyora ang lola =P

"...don't be angry that others had it good. because somewhere out there, others had it worse."

3 Gs to combat the big HB

(*by the way, HB means heartbreak, to all you clueless freaks, hahaha just kidding)

GET UP.

When someone took a big, massive, outrageous beating on your heart, you do the usual rituals.  You go in your “little dark room” and scream your lung out.  You throw punches in the air.  You blame the other person.  You blame yourself.  You blame the universe – but it’s all perfectly normal.  We all have to go through the process.  Because it’s a big mistake not to acknowledge the pain and worse, to suppress it.  Open your heart and just let it all out.  It’s okay to stay in the dark but you better pick yourself up and go out and see the light.  You give yourself the time to be angry and be bitter about what has happened and then get up and walk out of that dark shadow you’ve created yourself.  Force yourself to get out of it – only YOU can do it.  Nobody can do it for you.

GO OUT.

Okay, and so you took your time and screamed it all out.  Feeling better? Now that you’ve the strength to go out in the dark, it’s time to be that fabulous person that you are, ready to face the world in all its beauty and madness.  See the light, and realize what life really has to offer.

There’s no sense holding on to something that doesn’t serve your highest good, your greatest purpose.  So devote your time and energy to better things in life than overthink about the heartbreak.  Like work and career growth.  Or quality time with family and friends.  Or charity.  Or develop a new badass skill.  ‘Cos if you really want to, there are hundreds of ways to improve your self, to get busy and be the best person you can be.

Go out and get a life.  A life that you deserve.

GET GOING.

Keep doing what you love doing.  Keep on improving yourself and see remarkable results.  You’ll see yourself in a better place in no time.  “There is more to life than love”, as what Ramon Bautista always say.

Now that you feel like a better person than before, your satisfaction will weigh out all the bitterness you have had before.  See? In no time you’ll be able to shake out the pain, face the world and say, “what heartbreak?”

Your heart is definitely wiser than you think.

celebrate your being you. =)

true. I have a spirit indestructible. you tell 'em, Nelly. =)

lol pic of the week

story of my life (pt 2)

Hee Young - Are You Still Waiting

You’re like the water molecules evaporating in the air

I want to catch every drop of you

You kissed meon my cheek and held me in your arms

Told me we could keep each other warm

I’m waiting days and nights to hear from you

Cause’silence only brings me doubts

Told me you would wait for me

So are you still waiting?

You’re like the breeze on my hair when it’s wet

Makes me wanna ooh ooh ooh

I want to catch every breath of you baby baby baby

You kissed me on my cheek and lips and my hips

We kept each other so warm baby baby baby

Waiting days and nights to hear from you

Cause silence only brings me doubts

Told me you would wait for me

So are you still waiting

---o0o---

*The yarn symbolizes connectivity.  At the start, both of them held on to it.  It was like holding on to a promise that everything stays the same even if they’re far away.  While they were away from each other, the girl, like in the video, went on with her life.  Being the free spirit that she is, she just roamed around, sharing her happiness.  She just continued with her journey while holding tightly to the yarn that connects them..  she trusted the man that when the right time comes, it will still be the same; that he would still be holding the other end of the rope.

Unfortunately, when she came looking for him, he’s gone.  All that’s left was the yarn – the memories that connects them before.

Boys do fall in love

(for a friend / long-time client)

---o0o---

I’ve been wondering if this girl even know everything that my friend has been through to get where he is with her.

I wonder if she knew all the sleepless nights he’s had just thinking of ways to get her attention and to know that his intentions for her was real and sincere.

I wonder if she knew all the countless talks we’ve had about her – telling me how great of a girl she is, and how he’s fallen in love with everything about her.

I wonder if she knew how he drops everything he does at work just to see her, even for a while.

I wonder if she knew how many girls he’s turned down just so he won’t give her a reason to think he’s a ladies’ man (which, by the way, he really was – before he met her).

I wonder if she knew all the things he has done to be a better man worthy of her love.

All of these has never happened to him before. 

He was the typical kid who played around –

Then came her.

And now I wonder if the girl coming in to his life is a good thing or a bad thing because even though he’s changed from being a boy to being a young man (which is good), she’s also the reason why he’s wearing the saddest eyes I have ever seen.

I wished that I could take even just the half of the pain, but it’s not possible.  I could only be there for him and catch all of the rants being thrown my way.

He’s been fine now, which is great news.  With good friends, all wounded souls get sewn back and healed.  I’m glad he has his support system – his friends slash drinking buddies.  They say all the right things for his own good.

I believe the girl has her own reasons why she gave up the fight and just let him go.

But I’m just wondering if the girl really ever know

How much this man loved her so.

happy every day, everyday OK

Having a hectic schedule doesn’t excuse me from doing the things I love to be happy.  Writing, movies, tv series, researching, volunteering, music, checking up on my close friends – I make my way for it to happen.  See, happy people don’t just wake up happy – it’s a conscious effort.  It’s not easy, though.  Because there are hundreds of reasons that makes us unhappy at the moment.  But for me, something as simple as telling myself “I’m alive” is enough of a booster already to push myself more into being happy.. not just for me but for everyone around me.  Sadness, like happiness, is contagious.  So spread the better virus =)

“I’m alive”, I tell myself; “I almost died, but I didn’t.  Would I waste my second chance at life? I’m not going to use up another day, or hour, or minute of my life reaping up on sadness because I want my life to enjoy all the good stuff the universe has to offer.”

And when my ‘down’ moments happen, like right now, I do push myself more to ignore the bad and enjoy the good.  I’ve been carrying a heavy heart for weeks now and if it means detaching myself from the people who cause me pain, so be it.  Then I focus and excel in other fields / areas of my life (that’s mostly work).

All I’m saying is, keep on looking for ways to put that lovely smile on your faces.  Sometimes, you don’t need to have an inspiration. Happiness is everywhere.  Start chasing it.  Keep on chasing it.

Go on and get happy – because no one’s going to do it for you.

OK now back to happy hippie music! enjoy =)

would it be better to sleep forever?

i'll take no chances, the real romance is with you and me. 

you and me, you will see. 

everything will turn again, waiting for the rainfall. 

everything will turn again, waiting for the rain. 

there is no limbo. there are no spaces. 

there's only living. there's always something for you and me. 

you and me, you will see. 

turn again, waiting for the rainfall. 

everything will turn again, waiting for the rain.

oh, look - I'm that cute yaya! =P

getting past the awkwardness

dear mr. 'great guy' --



seriously, how'd you do that?  talk to me, ask me things and joke around like we haven't talked about something dirty before?

I had feelings for you before, you know.  and I can't past the awkwardness until now.  I want to talk to you in person, watch your gigs but I just can't forget.  well, not right now, I can't.

I don't know if you notice this, to.. but we do click as friends.  we share the same passion and interests.  I see you as this one nice guy who needs a dr. love in his life -- just like my other male clients.

I really do want to be friends with you and I think we're getting there - if you just keep playing that "let's pretend it never happened" role, I might be cool with it, to.

besides, I needed a new muse (someoneto make me push myself to write good, happy stuff.  because right now all I do is control myself on not writing what I really, really feel).  

so I want you back in my life (as a friend), my [not so] little drummer boy.


---o0o---
famous last words:

"Someday I will write something that you could turn into a song."  (pvd)

lol pic of the week

how very timely. =)

bitterness. I can't believe I'm back here again

again, I need to acknowledge that right this very minute, at this very moment, I have been hurting.  like what I have said before, this is my first step to healing.  and that I can't keep covering it up by keeping myself busy.  it makes the hurting worse, and longer.  I wanted to tell that person how much I cared about him, and how much pain he have caused me.  'but what for?' my pride is asking.  I guess I want him to realize that everything we ever talked about -- I took it seriously.  and that I kept my word.  oh well.  I guess this might be the last time I'll ever let myself get vulnerable.  now there's no stopping me from continuing what I have trained myself to be.  I am woman, hear me roar.  rawwrrrr



*sigh.  bitterness, and so we meet again. I know you're going to stay a while like before so I better treat you well this time. hahahigh




PS - I gave this away - far, far away - and I guess I never really got it back.  I no longer have a muse.  I no longer have a boss.   </3

...and now the party starts.  cheers to bitterness! =)

 

“Whenever you feel a negative emotion be alone in a room and just sit down with it and feel. Don't judge it, criticize it, intellectualize it, explain it away. Allow yourself to feel the pain. It's okay. Accompany it - breathe into it - and after a while, you'll feel the anger or fear or sadness lose it's urgency and power. Allow God to tenderly embrace you in your pain. And then, at the right time, you can let go.”

― Bo Sanchez, You Have The Power to Create Love: Take Another Step on the Simple Path to Happiness

testimonial from the ATD facebook page. =)

poem taken from another blog. Ping! =)

  

After awhile you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn that love doesn't mean possession

and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises

and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up

and your eyes ahead

with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your roads today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans

and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much

so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

that you really are strong

and you really do have worth

and you learn and you learn...with every goodbye you learn.

--- Virginia Shopstall [ comes the dawn ]

taken from a happiness journal =) share share

Love and Happiness

True happiness is the gentle pulling away from yourself.

Published on August 28, 2012 by Arthur Dobrin, D.S.W.

Happiness is best achieved through living an ethical life. A good life is a happy life. Good relations and taking responsibility not only make a happy life possible; they are happiness itself.

But good people aren’t always happy. Why? Because goodness is an ideal state; it something you aim at, a kind of moving target. Happiness may be achieved but mostly it is occasional and fleeting.

Conditions change and you aim again. Even the best archer doesn’t always hit the bull’s-eye. External conditions make it easier to achieve happiness. For example, an archer is more likely to hit a target if she uses the best-made bow than if she used a poorly made bow. No one, though, has everything that is needed—peaceful times, perfect health, a just society, loving parents, caring teachers.

No one can be happy all the time. But you can approach happiness with a good family, a good friend, a good government, good enough possessions, and adequate health. The great archer with the inadequate bow will oust the incompetent archer with the latest and best equipment.

I accept Goethe’s comment, "I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."

Happiness, while not possible all the time, is possible at least some of the time. More than that, you can look back on your life and say that you were happy. Happiness is the overall assessment of your life, not the episodic moments. It’s Seurat’s pointillist picture from a distance, not the dots up close.

True happiness is the gentle pulling away from yourself by which you find a better self that can prosper. Loving the right things and loving them in the right way is the key. Ethical relationships make it more likely than not that as you look back on your life you will be able to say, “I have lived a good life.”

Still, there is something about happiness that is independent of virtue. This is the happiness that is found in the joy of existence, the delight in simply being. This can be experienced either with others or in moments of solitude. Which form it takes, I suppose, is a matter of temperament. Individual dispositions and upbringing will lead people to find happiness in different ways. Some are, by nature, social, others more solitary. I may find happiness in the company of people while you may prefer a walk in the woods. You may enjoy the quiet of a good book, or perhaps it is the conviviality of the dinner table you seek. Some love cities, others the countryside.

But whichever way you find happiness, it is always accompanied by love, for happiness is ultimately the love of life, the celebration of living. The mark of happiness is that you are sensitive to the world around you, that you acknowledge your dependence upon your surroundings and that you are filled with loving-kindness.

You want to take care of that which you love, and you are solicitous toward it. The person who finds happiness through love is the person who can be trusted to bring happiness to others. This is the meaning behind Lao Tzu’s aphorism, “The person who loves the world as his own body may be entrusted with the empire.”

There are those who possess everything they claim to have wanted but still aren’t happy. They think they can be happy yet indifferent, happy while independent. The truth is the opposite: happiness requires gratitude and an acknowledgement of interdependence with that which is around you. More wealth doesn’t make you happier; deeper and better relations do.

The places of happiness are infinite, the sources never-ending. And you inhabit those places not because they have been pursued but because you have opened your heart and have allowed them in.

random rubbish thoughts

Just because she always say things positively doesn't mean she's the good guy.   We all have our monster side, it's just that she knows when to turn it on. <3





---o0o---

yeah, oh yeah, Pach.  keep telling yourself that =P

---o0o---




I will love you for as long as you live, and if you should go before I do, then I will love you for as long as I live.  (*repost, from facebook wallpost)


but I haven't found my soulmate yet. so until then ---

Astroboy sets my soul on fire! reminiscing his finale. talentado talaga ang mga Pinoy =)

lol pic of the week

ah, yes, I can relate =)

because "learning is essential"

The North Cemetery is one of the public cemeteries here in Manila where there are communities living inside the area.  It is prohibited to live in mausoleums and to build a house inside the cemetery but as I see it, the government (and the informal settlers) haven't done anything about it as of now.

*photos from ATD facebook page

This is the first of (All Together in Dignity – Fourth World) ATD's  “Marunong na Ako” series of activities for the street children in the area.  This activity is also being conducted in other areas in Pandacan. 

The first activity was the “street library” wherein we brought out different kinds of children’s books (English and Tagalog) for the children to read.  Just when you thought kids don’t like books anymore – they were excited to see what books we have brought them.  The kids who came in the area were of different ages, so some of them were too young to go to school and could not read yet.  And so we also had the chance to read on to them.  It was fun, as usual; I asked the kids who were listening to me about their daily lives in the Cemetery and their living conditions.  And I realized that no matter how hard it is living the way they do, they still have this big drive to learn and to continue studying.  And despite the hardships, they still manage to put out those big smiles on their faces.  Priceless as ever.  They really appreciate the things we have brought for them.  

After the book reading / storytelling was another activity wherein the kids were given tasks to make them realize the things that they could do, the things that they want to do, and the things that they want to learn.  This makes the kids realize that small steps and wanting to do little improvements is just as important as the big ones.

Again, it was a fun-filled experience, I get to meet such cool kids, I get to bring out the child in me, and I somehow give out encouragement to them to keep on striving and to not lose hope (again with my silly dream of inspiring. sorry hahaha). 

I hope to visit them again soon.  

And oh, by the way - the best part? The kids kept calling me “teacher” and “ma’am”; binuhay nila ang mumunting pangarap ko na maging guro. Yay =)

Thank you to the guys of ATD: Guy, Anne, Suzy and Patricia for having me that day. =)

---o0o---

famous last words:

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

my kind of guy

can I just say, Andrew Garfield is sooo 'it" <3

* guys who could rock out a bonnet (I collect bonnets, he should look good in them)
 

* guys who are ruggedly handsome 

* guys who loves motorbikes (it screams sexy!)

* guys who wears glasses sometimes (nerd is the new hot)

* guys who have piercing eyes that makes you feel like melting when he looks at you

it must start within you

HOW TO PUT FUN INTO EVERY DAY

1. Be where you are.
Kids are really good at enjoying the moment. Adults are addicted to thinking about all the things we have to do tonight, tomorrow, next week. Where you are is where the fun is. Nowhere else.

2. Learn something new.
From new words to new facial expressions, kids are constantly mastering new skills. Make it a point to continuously be learning something, anything. Aren’t we the ones who tell our kids that “learning is fun”?

3. Get out of your comfort zone.
Toddlers take risks all day long. As we mature, we tend to stay in our safe place. Your day will be so much more exciting if you gather the guts to wear hot pink pants.

4. Find the beat.
While adults would find a car alarm loud and obnoxious, my daughter dances to the rhythm of the beat. Seek out the symphony in the background noise.

5. Smile 27 times more than you do.
I’ve heard that children smile 400 times a day and adults, only 15. Smiling is the catalyst to having fun.

6. Notice nature.
Every child is in awe of ants, birds, and dandelions. At some point, we become creatures of the concrete jungle. Allow yourself to be enamored by Mother Nature.

7. Climb things.
As soon as they discover their legs, kids start climbing everything. There is something about being above ground level that is somewhat thrilling. Climb a rock. Climb a tree. You’ll feel like the master of the universe.

8. Embrace your “flaws.”

Being self-conscious is stifling. My toddler brings more attention to her Buddha belly than I ever would. But she also has more fun.

9. Use your imagination.
A child can get lost in her make-believe world for hours. Imagine riding an elephant in Thailand. Or running a marathon on the Great Wall of China. You’ll have so much fun pretending that you might want to make it a reality—which leads to more fun than you can imagine.

10. Be unpredictable.
There is no knowing what a kid will get up to next. Step out of your ordinary routine and you’ll be surprised at how liberated you’ll feel.

11. Hand out high-fives.
For no reason at all, kids hand out high-fives like they just won gold at the Olympics. Next time you hear some good news, give somebody a high-five. It feels good to get pumped about the little things.

12. Slow down.
Children know how to take their sweet time. Allow yourself enough time to enjoy living. Rushing sucks all the fun out of the day.

13. Create.
Paint, draw, build, write. Kids clearly enjoy those activities. Fun is being in your creative element.

14. Get dirty.
Kids aren’t afraid to experience life hands on. Get right in there. Make sandcastles. Turn up a log.

15. Break the rules.
Fun doesn’t follow all the rules. Neither do kids. If it doesn’t hurt, go for it! Leave those pretty Christmas lights up year-round.

How can you add more fun to your day?

---o0o---

(**from a blogpost / repost)