10.20.2010

isang hapong pagwawasak

(written on 10.03.2008)


On a lousy Friday afternoon…


“Why were you in Megamall?”, you asked.  I was trying to look up, to keep up with the rest of the world.  I think I’ve been so detached with what’s real.  I actually don’t want to  ‘feel’ real because I will only go back in to being the crazy sick fuck that I used to be.



Sitting here, alone in Megamall (resting actually) for a couple of minutes made me miss having a job.  I think I’ve wasted myself long enough to get back on track.



Evaluate!  I never did.



So there I was, looking up, but all I see is hopelessness.  It was robbed off of me — that hoping thing.  I think that it’s a good thing, though.  FOR ME.



And I think I am ready to leave the country.  I believe I have experienced everything I have to experience here, in Manila.  I’m ready to conquer the world!!:P





Writing.  I love that my hand and head are kickass mean machines that they are but I never get to use it to make money.  Or it could be that I write so much because I am just this one big PAMPAM.  I want to think that it’s not the latter.



Sometimes I would want to miss the pain in my chest caused by the heartbreak.   Because it never left me.



boo-yah!

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