(written on 10.03.2008)
On a lousy Friday afternoon…
“Why were you in Megamall?”, you asked. I was trying to look up, to keep up with the rest of the world. I think I’ve been so detached with what’s real. I actually don’t want to ‘feel’ real because I will only go back in to being the crazy sick fuck that I used to be.
–
Sitting here, alone in Megamall (resting actually) for a couple of minutes made me miss having a job. I think I’ve wasted myself long enough to get back on track.
–
Evaluate! I never did.
–
So there I was, looking up, but all I see is hopelessness. It was robbed off of me — that hoping thing. I think that it’s a good thing, though. FOR ME.
–
And I think I am ready to leave the country. I believe I have experienced everything I have to experience here, in Manila. I’m ready to conquer the world!!
–
Writing. I love that my hand and head are kickass mean machines that they are but I never get to use it to make money. Or it could be that I write so much because I am just this one big PAMPAM. I want to think that it’s not the latter.
–
Sometimes I would want to miss the pain in my chest caused by the heartbreak. Because it never left me.
–
boo-yah!
“Why were you in Megamall?”, you asked. I was trying to look up, to keep up with the rest of the world. I think I’ve been so detached with what’s real. I actually don’t want to ‘feel’ real because I will only go back in to being the crazy sick fuck that I used to be.
–
Sitting here, alone in Megamall (resting actually) for a couple of minutes made me miss having a job. I think I’ve wasted myself long enough to get back on track.
–
Evaluate! I never did.
–
So there I was, looking up, but all I see is hopelessness. It was robbed off of me — that hoping thing. I think that it’s a good thing, though. FOR ME.
–
And I think I am ready to leave the country. I believe I have experienced everything I have to experience here, in Manila. I’m ready to conquer the world!!
–
Writing. I love that my hand and head are kickass mean machines that they are but I never get to use it to make money. Or it could be that I write so much because I am just this one big PAMPAM. I want to think that it’s not the latter.
–
Sometimes I would want to miss the pain in my chest caused by the heartbreak. Because it never left me.
–
boo-yah!
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