currently i'm feeling...

U2 feat. Sinead O'Connor - I'm Not Your Baby (click this to listen to the song)

It's a beautiful day today, everything is going my way
Even the words do what I say, oh babe, got to get away
To be impossible, isn't that difficult
In the city you're invisible, when you come from a small town

Everything is all right, everything is all right
I'm not your baby, please

A tourist in a traffic jam, baby sham and handy cam
I'm not your mother, you're not my man, I'm not your baby
Don't treat me like I'm a trick, I won't treat you like you're a prick
Don't need no doctor, I'm not ill, I'm not your baby

Everything is all right, everything is all right
I'm not your baby, please

Cut out the poetry, lets hit the main artery
No time for a tourniquet, the colors all run out of me
You brought me all kinds of goods, now my heart is so full up it hurts
It's heavy as a shopping bag, it's full of things I should give back

Everything is all right, everything is all right
I'm not your baby, please

I'm not your baby
I'm not your baby

Don't want you to cover me, smother me or mother me
I like to feel this incomplete, I'm not your baby

Everything is all right, everything is all right
I'm not your baby, please

Not dizzy, just busy, didn't drink nothing fizzy
No pills to feel easy, don't know what got into me
Daylight's a kind of robbery, the night is your geography
So you're not white, you're pink and rosy
You could be right, but you're way above me

Me, I'm in recovery, a star of pornography
I'm a tourist, there's a lot to see
You don't like the photographs of me
So you've got a lot to say
You don't sleep around, but sometimes you stray
You don't believe, often times you pray
For something, what is it babe

Don't treat me like I'm a trick, I won't treat you like you're a prick
Don't need no doctor, I'm not sick, I'm not your baby

Everything is all right, everything is all right
I'm not your baby, please

I'm not your baby, I'm not your baby, I'm not your baby
I'm not your baby, I'm not your baby, I'm not your baby
I'm not your baby

TOI - Creep [cover] (click this for your listening pleasure)

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

does your bubble pop?

my kind of a getawaaaaay! =)

sometimes, i just have to go away when things around me are getting crazy.  i need at least a day - just to run away, pop, and let shit out.  ALONE.  in a beautiful place.  

my emotions cannot be repressed anymore. :(

---

famous last words:

"all these fuss, for what?!"

yearender

these are the ten things i have learned the past year:

10.  it's bad to be sleep-deprived for days.  it messes up my routine.

09.  when you're an optimist, you get more courage to do the things you want - however, the result of it is sometimes hurtful.  so being cynical means being a coward and just staying stuck on the safe side.

08.  i have realized that i have to be submissive when needed.

07.  yes, i so want to travel abroad and experience first-hand the world culture but my life does not permit me to.  so i just have to be contented browsing books and the net.  goodbye, germany.  goodbye, italy.  goodbye, peru.

06.  last year, people around me made me realize that i am a chickenshit when it comes to expressing my feelings.  boo-hoo.

05.  that it is easy to let go of something if you just decide on it.

04.  decisions are best made if you first sleep on it.

03.  family has always been a top priority but what i do is always not enough.  so i just have to push myself more, and care for them some more.

02.  love is just a series of chemical reactions in your brain.  so the next time you think you're in love, think again.  maybe you are just smelling his/her pheromones... =D

01.  whether it's just 3 persons or a whole community you are trying to reach out, it is important that you exert the same amount of effort to them if inspiring really is your passion.

---

famous last words:

"Death is confusing; lifemore confusing still."

How to Save Your Own Life

(the wit and wisdom of Isadora Wing)

1.  renounce useless guilt.

2.  don't make a cult of suffering.

3.  live in the Now (or at least the Soon).

4.  always do the things you fear the most;

     courage is an acquired taste, like caviar.

5.  trust all joy.

6.  if the evil eye fixes you in its gaze,

     look elsewhere.

7.  get ready to be eighty-seven.

(taken from Erica Jong's 'How to Save Your Own Life)

-have pen, will rant.

This passion for writing has never left me.

and I want to write again with something inspiring,

something useful

(because my thoughts of you are not).

So please, please, please

leave my peripheral vision and my subconscious.

Leave me alone --

let me be.

You are sucking me dry of all my energy.

(-have pen, will rant.)

---

famous last words:

"There are people in this world who are joyful and they always seem to have more energy than  the rest of us.  This is because they don't use it all up on repression and self-delusion.  Being miserable is not a hobby, but a full-time job.."

the Sex Talk

(come on, pach, keep talking like you knew what you're talking about! harharhar)

* "For most women, the attraction to bad boys usually happens over a 2-3 day period when she is ovulating.  her body craves a Russel Crowe bad-guy type because aggressive men have a greater survival rating than nice guys - and she wants his genes."

*"Sex is around ten times more effective as a tranquilizer than valium."

*"The more often you have sex, the more sex you will be offered.  a sexually active body secretes large quantities of pheromones.  these subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy."

*"Women cannot enjoy sex unless they are relaxed and free from worries and distractions."

*"What men really want? sex. basic services (food, washing, mothering, etc). to be loved, and solitary time."

*"Orgasms release endorphin, aka, the happy hormone, burns calories and improves blood circulation! now, who wouldn't want that?"

(sources: PDI, Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love

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famous LUST words:

"Men have only two emotions - hungry and horny.  If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."