making 'reto' to someone -- doesn't work for me.

(i found myself) trying to please yet another friend.
And for the fifth time, i really, really tried to.
But because i am wickedly insane, my emotions (and hallucinations) went all over the place.
Besides, i already know from the start that these things just don’t work for me.


—o0o—


The truth is, I have been trying to ____ again since year 2002.  I have watched this movie last Saturday and i was moved with this particular scene (i so can relate.hmp lagi naman eh)


teddy:   ano ang ginagawa kapag ang isang bagay (or person/feeling in my case) ay nawala sa iyo?
jett:      hinahanap. (did that-check.)
teddy:   paano kapag hindi mo nakita?
jett:     pinapalitan. (check.)
teddy:   paano kung hindi mo mapalitan?
jett:     hinahayaan. (you damn right.)


—o0o—
(going back)
And what’s worse is–everytime i try, the other party, the opposite of the pole, disappears on me.  It hurts a little because they have no idea what it’s like to give yourself another chance (thinking that this time it will be different) when in the end there really is none.  I have to admit, my youth is wasted on these kinds of cycles, and i hate it.


—o0o—


sinasabi ko na-i have to cut down on my koreanovelas.  bad bad bad.

—o0o—

PS- can you describe yourself in one word? i know i can’t.