my heart has already felt a love so strong, i think it would last me 2 lifetimes more. believe it or not. hahaha. i may not know everything, but i know myself. my early 20s was spent knowing me. it's because i hate it when people tell me my bad side.. so that soul searching thing everyone else dreamed of? i did it for years. so.. knowing myself, i know when it's love and i know when it's not. i just don't know why others can't see the difference. i had mc in this mythical emotional plateau, and everyone else? just on the ground. and even if i didn't get to have with mc what others would validate as love, IT DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE LOVED LESS THAN THEY DO.
and this doesn't mean i can't love again - there's just no one, really.
you just have to realize the difference between me and the other girls: i control me. what i say, what i write, what i do -- and what i feel. i go crazy with what i feel, but nothing could turn in to love simply because i don't let it. all of these feelings are just for the meantime. for i wouldn't know what the future has for me =)
is that a good thing? definitely not. but it's the only way i get by. 'to each his own'.
i just think it's better than falling for the same crap again and again. but then again, to each his own.
that love has made me a control freak, extremely cautious of not letting myself get hurt again. the contradiction here is that all these time my senses are also wide open at a chance of new love as well.
--
famous last words:
"Happy endings may not happen to me but it must happen to everyone else around me." (moi)
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